1. Social Skills: Seven Things Everyone Should Know
  2. The 30 most important things about effective communication everyone must know
  3. Nine Things You Should Know About Interpersonal Skills
  4. How To Overcome Your Shyness, The Ultimate Guide
  5. A Simple Guide To Introverts
  6. How You Can Overcome Social Anxiety
  7. 25+ Effective Networking Tactics To Improve Your Networking Skills
  8. How To Master The Basic Meet And Greet
  9. Master The Power Pose In Two Minutes
  10. The 20 All-Time Best Pieces Of Relationship Advice Ever
  11. How To Build Great Professional Relationships
  12. 30+ Techniques About Killing It With Public Speaking
  13. How To Give Impromptu Speeches
  14. How To Be A Smart/Witty Talker
  15. How To Speak And Influence People Like Barack Obama
  16. The 20 Best Tips For Speaking Better
  17. 100+ Useful Techniques For Great Small Talk
  18. Question Skills: How We Can Be Great At Asking Questions
  19. How To Give Feedback
  20. Active Listening Skills (How To Be A Great Listener)
  21. Presentation Skills: How To Give Great Presentations
  22. Rhetoric: Using Language Better To Communicate Effectively And Persuasively
  23. How To Be Assertive
  24. A Simple Guide To Understanding Body Language
  25. 15+ Tricks That Will Help You Catch People Lying
  26. 11 Really Useful NLP Techniques
  27. A Simple Guide To Emotional Intelligence
  28. Empathy
  29. How To Be Charismatic
  30. How To Develop Presence
  31. How To Be Charming, Likeable, And Interesting
  32. Personality Development: How You Can Improve Your Personality
  33. 20+ Tips On Handling Difficult People
  34. How To Run And Participate In Effective Meetings
  35. Teamwork Skills: How To Work In A Team Effectively
  36. How To Make (And Refute) Arguments
  37. How To Win An Argument
  38. How To Criticize
  39. Seven Simple Ways To Give Praise
  40. How To Complain
  41. Culture Smarts: Taking In Cultural Cues From Across The World
  42. How To (Really) Control Your Emotions
  43. Basics Of Phone Etiquette
  44. A Simple Guide To Non-Verbal Communication

How To Give Feedback




Feedback is also known as constructive criticism.

 

Helpful feedback:

- Is concrete and specific. It says precisely what the other person is doing wrong e.g. 'Your resume is 3 pages long, you need to reduce this to two pages.'

- It talks about actions and says what people are doing rather than what they are e.g. 'You dance really artistically' not 'You're fantastic.'

- Makes 'I' statements instead of giving blame or praise: 'I felt angry when you spilled the tea' not 'You're a clumsy idiot!'

- Is given immediately: not hours or days later when neither of you can remember what happened.

 

Unhelpful feedback:

- Is vague and abstract. It makes the person angry because the person is not told how they can change things.

- Labels people: 'You're stupid'

- Just blames or praises rather than being specific

- May be delayed: by the time it is given, the person may have forgotten what you are talking about.

 

1. Only give feedback if the gain will exceed the pain: only use it for important things.

 

2. Praise more than you criticize: Identifying and developing strengths is more effective than focusing too much on negatives.

 

3. It's a good idea to ask permission: 'Do you mind if I give you some feedback?'. This gives the person time to prepare.

 

4. Try to give feedback immediately: on the spot if possible: it's most effective when fresh in the person's mind. The more quickly it is given the more relevance and power it will have.

 

5. Be direct and honest. Get quickly to the point, don't have long and embarrassing introductions, although starting with some genuine praise based on what the person has actually done will help (see the praise sandwich below).

 

6. Give feedback in private if at all possible, it's insensitive to do this in front of others.

 

7. Focus on the most concrete and recent example

 

8. Stick to a single clear issue, don't pack in too much criticism as this can be disheartening.

 

9. Don't repeat the same point over and over: this will just build up resentment.

 

10. Only criticize behaviors that can be changed: 'You need to improve your computing skills' rather than 'You're stupid!'

 

11. Give feedback on a person's behavior not about the person themselves.

Give accurate descriptions of behavior not comments about the person's qualities and worth as an individual.

 

12. Use 'I' not 'You' statements: 'I feel upset' , and not 'You made me feel upset'.

 

13. Give specific examples.

 

Don't just say 'You're hopeless at this', say 'We need to give you training on how to do this!' - Describe the behavior

 

14. Describe your reaction: Explain why you feel this way - show you understand what's behind their behavior - suggest a different way of behaving

 

15. Stick to the facts: Describe the behavior but also what happened as a result.

 

16. The best decisions are those people reach for themselves.

Try not to tell the other person directly what they should and shouldn't do.

 

Let them explore their behavior and say themselves what needs to be done. This avoids the build up of resentment.

 

17. Allow the criticized person to express any concerns they may have.

 

18. Use tentative words such as 'sometimes' and 'perhaps' rather than 'always' and 'never':.

 

These allow the other person to avoid argument by saying that 'always' is not strictly true.

 

19. Keep your emotions under control.

 

20. At the end, check for understanding: 'Does what I've said make sense to you?' and summarize what you've agreed.

 

21. Talk openly about your own concerns if necessary.

 

Include positive comments. The 'praise sandwich' can be an effective way to give criticism to someone without alienating them:

First, make a positive statement to the person: 'I think you are really trying your best'

Then the criticism: 'But you need to structure your essay more logically'.

Make another positive statement to finish 'However it's a very good first attempt'

 

22. If you are receiving feedback yourself, try to accept it in a positive and non-defensive manner.

 

23. Giving praise: Tell people something they have done that you like or what you like about them.

Conversely, when someone praise you, thanking the person promptly.

 

24. Apologizing: Say sorry in an assertive, not passive way.

 

Thank you for reading.
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