Communication Skills

Personality Development: How You Can Improve Your Personality

People skills | Personality development

Try to be better than yourself.

- William Faulkner


I want freedom for the full expression of my personality.

- Mahatma Gandhi


To be oneself, simply oneself, is so amazing and utterly unique an experience that it's hard to convince oneself so singular a thing happens to everybody.

- Simone de Beauvoir, Prime of Life


Tell me what you pay attention to and I will tell you who you are.

- José Ortega y Gasset


Personality is an unbroken series of successful gestures.

- F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby


I use bits and pieces of others personalities to form my own.

- Kurt Cobain


The largest part of what we call 'personality' is determined by how we've opted to defend ourselves against anxiety and sadness.

- Alain de Botton



1. Be yourself: The best tip for improving your personality is to be yourself, just be your normal (hopefully non-offensive/non-irritating) self. Don't try to someone you are not.


You want to show people you are James Bond, but that fantasy is impossible to carry out in real life. At the very least, copy some good habits of James Bond - Get into fitness, improve your observation skills (like a spy), be better with small talk at parties etc.

You won't be able to take the pretense far enough, and will end up pissing off more people.


2. Follow the golden rule: Treat people as you would like them to treat you. With respect.


3. Find ways to be yourself by getting some good habits: Read ('I like reading non-fiction'). Get a hobby you like ('I like to play piano'). Just don't have bad habits. If you can't help it, then try not to get your bad habits piss off other people - e.g. smoking in a group of non-smokers.


You may also try out various habits before you will find you like some particular stuff.


Just remember: There is no one way to be a good or bad person.


4. A sense of humor helps: But not everyone among us can laugh at all things, and more importantly, laugh at yourself. At least, don't take things too personally. Be cool.


5. You can only have a better personality when you have decided to change how you are presently.


This is very important. You have to know how you are to other people at this moment - for an objective view, ask friends and family.


You should find stuff about yourself that people are content with. You have to be not content about those things as well. This is the first step towards a better personality.


6. T-shaped people are more attractive: T-shaped are people who are good at some work skills, but also have an interest in other fields - arts, history etc. They bring a wholesome approach to life.


Read books, anything you find. Just read. Know some art. Travel. Know more about people other than yourself.


7. Improve your communication/people skills: Smile more.


Be interested in other people (if you can at least get this one right, your personality is gold - This is the secret of all so-called 'magnetic' personalities - they make others feel important).


Show empathy by understanding things from their point of view.


Find easy rapport with other people with finding a common ground of shared interest in things - sports, movies, books etc (but stay away from normally divisive things such as religion or politics).


Appear calm and confident. Believe in yourself and project assertiveness (you know your rights).


Don't say anything unless your words can improve the conversation (and someone asks you to contribute, preferably).


Understand 'give and take' is the norm of the social world. Be helpful.


Be a good listener. Listen actively and show your understanding - nod often, repeat last words etc.


Dress clean.


Use positive body language - eye contact, touch (shoulder, hand shakes) etc.


And please be gentle, polite and courteous, people. Everyone is just winging through their life. Once a while, we will like for others to be nice to us.


8. Someone said, 'we are the sum of the 5 people we interact with most.'

Expand your circle.


9. Start contributing to society.

Teach/share whatever you know or learn.


10. Stop thinking about what people will say about you.


Have faith in your actions, habits and thoughts.


Thank you for reading.
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