1. 24 Of The Best Career Quotes For Women, From Women
  2. Five Best Quotes For Millenials
  3. 11 Best Lena Denham Quotes For Millenials
  4. 13 Great Career Networking Quotes
  5. 14 Favorite Quotes About Creativity
  6. 12 Of My Favorite Quotes About (Not) Worrying
  7. My Favorite 40 Quotes on Happiness
  8. The 40 Best Quotes On Leadership
  9. The 25 Greatest Quotes On Management
  10. 15 Greatest Quotes for CEOs
  11. 20 Best Quotes On Promoting Your Business
  12. The 25+ Best Quotes on Selling
  13. The 21 Greatest Business Quotes Of All Time
  14. 10 Favorite Relaxation Quotes
  15. The 10 Best Quotes About Meditation
  16. Seven Favorite Quotes About Mindfulness
  17. 15+ Favorite Quotes About Money And Investing
  18. 11 Favorite Quotes On Self-Mastery
  19. The 20 Best Quotes About Attitude
  20. 10 Favorite Quotes To Help You Deal With The Hard Times
  21. 14 Best Quotes For Shy People And Introverts
  22. The 80 Best Career Quotes Of All Time
  23. Best Quotes About Hard Work
  24. The 40 Best Quotes About Humor
  25. 25+ Best Quotes On Common Sense
  26. The 35 Best Quotes About Reading
  27. 20+ Favorite Quotes About Being Open-Minded
  28. 40 Best Things Ever Said About Truth
  29. 20+ Best Quotes On Peace
  30. Love: 55 Best Quotes Ever
  31. 15 favorite Quotes On Being Generous
  32. 30 Favorite Quotes About Justice
  33. The 90 All-Time Great Quotes About Freedom
  34. 69 Best Quotes On Courage
  35. Five Best Quotes About Winning
  36. 11 Inspiring Quotes About Resilience
  37. 12 Favorite Quotes About Patience
  38. 19 Best Quotes That Inspire Us To be Kind
  39. 17 Favorite Quotes About Optimism And Positive Thinking
  40. 35 Favorite Quotes That Inspire Us To Be Hopeful
  41. Eight Favorite Quotes About Grit
  42. 10 Most Useful Life Lessons Quotes From Legally Blonde

The 40 Best Quotes About Humor




1. Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive. 
- Elbert Hubbard

2. Life would be tragic if it weren't funny. 
- Stephen Hawking

3. Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory. 
- Albert Schweitzer

4. Accentuaute the positives - medicate the negatives. 
- Amy Sedaris

5. Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Heres Tom with the Weather. 
- Bill Hicks

6. If it’s true that our species is alone in the universe, then I’d have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little. 
- George Carlin

7. Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand. 
- Kurt Vonnegut

8. For instance, on the planet Earth, man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much—the wheel, New York, wars and so on—whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man—for precisely the same reasons. 
- Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

9. Sometimes you climb out of bed in the morning and you think, I'm not going to make it, but you laugh inside — remembering all the times you've felt that way. 
- Charles Bukowski

10. The only way to get through life is to laugh your way through it. You either have to laugh or cry. I prefer to laugh. Crying gives me a headache. 
- Marjorie Pay Hinckley

11. Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian. 
- Robert Orben

12. What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bees and he told me about the butcher and my wife. 
- Rodney Dangerfield

13. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? 
- George Carlin

14. If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans. 
- Woody Allen

15. I don't deserve a soul, yet I still have one. I know because it hurts. 
- Douglas Coupland

16. A sense of humour is the only divine quality of man 
- Arthur Schopenhauer

17. Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times. 
- Mark Twain

18. All of humanity's problems stem from man's inability to sit quietly in a room alone. 
- Blaise Pascal, Pensées

19. I'm tired of this back-slappin' isn't humanity neat bullshit. We're a virus with shoes. 
- Bill Hicks

20. We demand rigidly defined areas of doubt and uncertainty! 
- Douglas Adams

21. Today as always, men fall into two groups: slaves and free men. Whoever does not have two-thirds of his day for himself, is a slave, whatever he may be: a statesman, a businessman, an official, or a scholar. 
- Friedrich Nietzsche

22. Of course I’ve gone mad with power! Have you ever tried going mad without power? It’s boring and no one listens to you!
— Russ Cargill 
- Matt Groening

23. Humor is what happens when we're told the truth quicker and more directly than we're used to. 
- George Saunders

24. What ho! I said.
What ho! said Motty.
What ho! What ho!
What ho! What ho! What ho!
After that it seemed rather difficult to go on with the conversation. 
- P.G. Wodehouse, My Man Jeeves

25. The problem is that the people with the most ridiculous ideas are always the people who are most certain of them.
(The Decider, July 21, 2007) 
- Bill Maher

26. Most men are not wicked... They are sleep-walkers, not evil evildoers. 
- Franz Kafka

27. Life, said Marvin dolefully, loathe it or ignore it, you can’t like it. 
- Douglas Adams

28. Hypocrite: The man who murdered his parents, and then pleaded for mercy on the grounds that he was an orphan. 
- Abraham Lincoln

29. I hate mankind, for I think myself one of the best of them, and I know how bad I am. 
- Samuel Johnson

30. The definition of black irony is Pro-lifers killing Doctors who do abortions 
- Bill Hicks

31. The problem is, God gave man a brain and a penis and only enough blood to run one at a time. 
- Robin Williams

32. A joke is an epigram on the death of a feeling. 
- Friedrich Nietzsche

33. Democracy is the worst form of government, except for all the others. 
- Winston S. Churchill

34. Explaining a joke is like dissecting a frog. You understand it better but the frog dies in the process. 
- E.B. White

35. Nothing so fortifies a friendship as a belief on the part of one friend that he is superior to the other. 
- Honoré de Balzac

36. He is really not so ugly after all, provided, of course, that one shuts one's eyes, and does not look at him. 
- Oscar Wilde

37. That money talks, I'll not deny, I heard it once: it said, 'goodbye 
- Richard Armour

38. I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. 
- Shirley Temple Black

39. Murderers! Stop murdering. Everyone will die eventually. Just sit down and be patient. 
- Russell Brand

40. I don't want to be a genius-I have enough problems just trying to be a man. 
- Albert Camus

 

Thank you for reading.
If you found this list useful, please share this with your friends and family. 

There are 200+ guides to succeeding in business, career and personal life in The Success Manual. Get the pdf ebook for $12 only.


Read more guides in this section: Quotes

Popular Success Manual Guides

The Career Bible
Get Instant Answers On 100+ Most Important Questions On Finding and Keeping A Good Job
250 Top Work & Personal Skills Made Easy
Communication skills, Self help skills, Self improvement skills, Productivity & time management skills, Writing skills, Business skills, Freelancing skills, Thinking skills & more...

Download a Sample Guide:

35 Most Important Things Your Should About Money
Your Name:
Your Email:
We will never spam you. We will never share your data. Ever.

  
  
  
SSL Certificates